A black woman's love for her child will cause her to make the necessary adjustments in order to give her children a fighting chance. She will always even out the playing fields whenever her children are involved.
I'll share with you all what I shared with another female blogger lately;
About a year ago, my family relocated to Arizona from Georgia. We're ex-military and we have the bug. The every six year or so you have to move to a different state, and experience different cultures bug. We went from Philadelphia to Germany to Georgia and Arizona. In between all of that we have traveled extensively.
My children are all use to playing and socializing with children from all across the world. Different races, faces and places. My oldest is a social butterfly. She's use to having friends of all ethnic backgrounds and has proven to be a wonderful supportive friend with a huge heart to match; however, she is extremely sensitive.
She had just graduated from the fifth grade and was excited about starting middle school in another state. Making new friends, and forging new bonds.
For the first few months, she was a bit frustrated because she seemed unable to fit in amongst the children at the new school. We talked extensively about it during Christmas break, and she decided that she was going to give it another try. But when spring sprung, she didn't and I began to get concerned. However, whenever I asked her about it she couldn't put her finger on it. She just kept saying, she didn't fit in. Finally, after spending the day together she began to tell me some of the things she had to put up with in order to fit in.
She had to constantly correct some of her fellow school mates about their beliefs concerning blacks here in America. More often than not, she found herself clarifying some of the stereotypes that her school mates had about black people. For example; one day I braided her hair up into some corn rows and two little boys wanted to know if she had went to the "hood" to get her hair done. When she told them that her mother did them, they broke out into a stream of endless laughter. The two little men seemed to believe that you could only get cornrows done in the "hood".
There were many incidents of this kind that went on for one year. She realized that she was no longer in the comforts of the military where almost all children played together.
A few weeks before her summer vacation started (May 18) she came to me in the kitchen and said, "I am not going to be very productive if I stay here in Arizona". She told me that the racism and comments were going to cause a lot of damage to her soul. Finally, she said, "I hate it here....despise it".
So, my father-in-law came for a visit and suggested a charter school. It seemed like a great alternative and one day as I was at the computer doing the research for a charter school she said, "I believe Arizona is going to be like that regardless of what school I attend."
Well, this is the same state that refused to observe MLK Jr. Day as a holiday, right?
As a mother, I was frustrated and upset. Racism had found its way into my children's life. I knew it was just a matter of time.
What could I do now?
Well, I decided to even out the playing fields. Give my daughter a fighting chance. Next year this time, we're relocating back to Pennsylvania. We're moving to a more "diverse" neighborhood, and she'll attend a more "diverse" school. Put the odds in my daughters favor -ya know?
In the end, I had to realize that the school she was attending had no problems with providing her with a Blue Ribbon education, but they were going to do so at a cost. The price? Her self-esteem. And that is not for sale.
It would be different if my six year old daughter was in this position. She would just give out directions with the quickest route to her ass. But, my oldest is sensitive and hurts deeper. And an issue like racism pierces the underlining wall of the soul. It would have bypassed her heart and went straight for her spirit. And what good is an intelligent articulate young woman, if she has no sense of self. If she trades it all in to fit in.
So, she'll have to deal with it for this year. I'll keep a very close eye on her, but she is my daughter; I know she'll be fine. However, the next school she attends, the odds will be in her favor.
Black mothers do what they can to even out the odds for their children. This is just one example of that.
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